Web of Death
by MuscleManNStarla4Ever
Summary: After Benson signs up for an online dating site, Mordecai and Rigby decide to make fake accounts on there to get Benson back for all the times he was mean to them. However, all hell starts to break loose when Benson begins to fall for one of their fake personas. I do not own Regular Show.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Before you begin to read, let me just say that I apologise for my horrible spelling/grammar. English is not my first language, and the word document I use does not have spell check. Anyway, if you're able to read and comprehend it, I hope you enjoy.**

**I do not own Regular Show or any of its characters**.

It was a sunny day in the park, when Benson stomps up, looking perturbed as usually.

"What's wrong?" Skips, the bravest of the bunch, dares to ask since everyone else seems to be too afraid to. Skips isn't afraid though, he once arm wrestled Death and won.

"Nothing is wrong." Benson says through gritted teeth. He then looks around and notices that something is awry.

"Hey, where's Mordecai and Rigby?" He then asks, as his voice tone turns even angrier.

"They're probably messing with the new computer." Muscle Man says. Benson lets out a loud angry sigh that shakes the whole ground. He got tired of everyone fighting over computer time, so he purchased another one, however, he was now beginning to regret it.

"Somebody better go find them, and tell them that if they're not here in five minutes, they're fired!" Benson exclaims with his face turning as red as a cherry tomato.

"Chill out dude, we're right here." Mordecai says, and he and Rigby pop out from behind of Pops' giant head.

"What are you doing back there? Why didn't you say anything when I asked where you were?" Benson asks with his hands on his hips.

"I got distracted, sorry." Mordecai replies with a shrug.

"Maybe if you were a better boss, then you'd be able to keep up with us." Rigby retorts, it was plain to everyone that he was in a bad mood too. As it always does, when bad mood hits bad mood, it turns into a catastrophic eruption.

"YOU'RE FIRED!" Benson yells, ignoring the shocked looks on everyone's faces. Sure he's threatened to fire him before, and he has actually done the deed a couple of times, but never before have they seen him sound so serious.

"Y-You're firing me?" Rigby asks, his bad mood being replaced by shock.

"Yea, not that you made a difference in this park anyway, you're useless, your parents probably thought the same thing and that's why they decided to have another kid." Benson says, causing everyone to gasp out.

"That was too far." Skips says. Benson looks at everyone's angry faces, and at Rigby, who has tears in his eyes, and he feels a pang of guilt. He quickly shoves it down, he is too angry right now. He then lets out a sigh, knowing that he shouldn't be taking his anger for Dean Sanders out on Rigby. Dean Sanders was Benson's best friend from college, that was until he caught him in bed with his girlfriend. It turned out, that they had been seeing each other for a few weeks now.

"I'm sorry Rigby, I am just having a bad day, that's all." Benson says with a sigh.

"If you tell us what's wrong, maybe we can help you." Mordecai says before Rigby can say something in return to Benson's apology.

"Yea." Everyone says in unison.

Benson then lets out a sigh, knowing they won't leave him alone until he tells them, so he tells them the whole story.

"Why not try online dating? Starla's sister Peggy met a great girl on there." Muscle Man says.

"Girl?" Rigby asks, not knowing if he heard correctly.

"Yea, Peggy's dating this girl named Luanne, they're totally happy together." Muscle Man says with a smile.

"I could try online dating." Benson says, stroking his chin with his fingers as he thinks about it.

"Just don't sign up for Couple Corral, the owner is psycho." Mordecai says with a shiver, remembering how the man almost killed him and CJ.

"Alright." Benson says before pulling out his tablet, causing everyone, except Skips, to gasp.

"Why don't we get one of those?" Rigby asks, envy is evident in his voice.

"If you save up enough money like I did, then you could buy one like I did." Benson says with annoyance.

"Are you signing up now?" Muscle Man asks. Benson shakes his head,

"I am checking to see what jobs I put down for everyone to do." He pauses for a minute before speaking again.

"Alright, Skips, I need you to repair the third bench on the left side, Muscle Man, you and Hi-Five Ghost pull up some stumps, Mordecai and Rigby, rake the leaves."  
"Ugh, again?" Mordecai and Rigby groan in unison.

"Yea, what's the point of even raking the leaves if more are just going to fall anyway?" Rigby asks.

"Just do it or you're fired!" Benson yells.

"Fine." Mordecai grumbles before he walks off with Rigby at his heels.

"Man, Benson's being a real jerk today." Rigby grumbles as he grabs a rake.

"He seems to have a good reason to be in a bad mood." Mordecai says, grabbing a rake of his own.

"Yea well, I still think he should pay for saying what he did to me, and I know just how to do it." Rigby says with a wicked grin on his face.

"Come on dude, he apologised." Mordecai says, not wanting to get involved in anymore craziness.

"He didn't really mean it, besides, think about all the times he has been mean to us." Rigby says.

"Yea, but he's also saved our lives before, and he's had plenty of good reasons to fire us and he hasn't." Mordecai says. Rigby lets out a frustrated sigh, before getting on his knees.

"Pleaseeee do this with me, you're my best friend and you're owe me one." Rigby begs.

"Fine, but if Benson finds out it's us, you're taking the full blame." Mordecai relents.

"Awesome!" Rigby exclaims happily.

"Yea, yea, now let's get to work before Benson comes to check on us." Mordecai says with a sigh, before he begins to rake the leaves. Rigby begins to hum while he pretends to rake the leaves, not knowing how much pain and suffering his plan is going to cause.


	2. Chapter 2

When Mordecai and Rigby walk back into the house to "take a break", they see Muscle Man sitting on the couch watching a basketball game.

"What are you doing here?" Mordecai asks with confusion, wondering why Muscle Man wasn't helping Hi-Five Ghost pull up the stumps.

"Starla wanted me to watch this game for her since she is getting a manicure with Peggy, Fives agreed to cover for me if I cover for him next week on his date with Celia." Muscle Man replies without taking his eyes from the screen.

"I didn't know Starla was into basketball." Rigby says, taking a seat beside Muscle Man.

"Yea, we're always having interesting conversations over whether football or basketball is a better sport. Now be quiet, Kevin Durant is about to take a shot." Muscle Man says, turning his full attention back to the TV.

"Come on dude, we have to see what website Benson is signing up for so we can put our plan into action." Mordecai says with a sigh, still not fully on board with the plan.

The two gentlemen walk upstairs to where the old computer, that no one uses anymore, is sitting.

"Why are we using this old hunk of junk?" Rigby grumbles.

"For privacy." Mordecai answers before he pulls up the internet. After that, he searches free online dating sites.

"Why don't we just go spy on Benson?" Rigby asks, thinking that this was going to take forever.

"Because, we don't want Benson to have any idea we're behind this, also, we need to come up with believable profiles that will attract Benson." Mordecai answers.

"Wait, I found his profile!" Mordecai exclaims, clicking on Benson's profile.

"Let me see!"Rigby exclaims, pushing his way in front of Mordecai. He chuckles as he reads Benson's profile.

_Benson/34/Man_

"He's only thirty-four? I thought he was at least fifty." Rigby says.

Mordecai lets out a short laugh before he begins to read the profile out loud.

"My name is Benson, I am a single thirty-four year old cat lover, who is looking for a nice woman to come home to. I work as a park manager and I am an avid drummer, if you would like to know more, send me a message and I will get back to you shortly." He reads.

"His profile sounds like a boring answering machine, he's never going to get any girls with that." Rigby says. He then reads Benson's stats.

_Height: 5'6_

_Body Type: Slender_

_Looking For: Long term relationship_

_Hair Colour: Bald_

_Eye Colour: Grey._

_Job: Park Manager_

"Can you believe Benson is actually putting his actual stats in here? I mean, if I were to make an online dating profile for myself, I'd make myself seem way cooler." Rigby says.

"I put my real stats in for Couple Corral." Mordecai says with a shrug.

"Well, you're already cool, but Benson is a total loser." Rigby says.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with before Benson notices we're not working." Mordecai says.

He then begins to fill out his profile.

_Name: Phillis_

"What kind of old lady name is that?" Rigby snickers.

"Shut up dude, it seems like the kind of girl name that Benson would like." Mordecai says.

"How about we bet on it, if Benson messages your profile before mine, then I'll do your work for a week." Rigby says.

"Won't Benson just message whoever messages him first?" Mordecai asks.

"Good point, okay, whoever gets Benson to fall in love with their fake profile first wins the bet." Rigby says.

"It's a deal." Mordecai says, and they shake on it. He then goes back to work on his profile, about twenty minutes later, he announces that he's finished.

"About time" Rigby grumbles, getting up to read Mordecai's profile.

_Phillis/30/Woman_

_My name is Phillis, I am a 30 year old florist. My hobbies include painting, fine wine and dining, and taking care of my three cats. _

_I am looking for a responsible hard working man, who loves cats just as much as I do._

"Wow, I'm impressed." Rigby says with his eyes opened wide, surprised that Mordecai thought of such an impressive profile on a whim. However, his admiration dampens when he reads the stats that Mordecai gave Phillis.

_Height: 6'3_

_Body Type: Slender._

"You can't put your real stats, like Benson would ever go for a girl who is 6'3." Rigby says.

"Fine." Mordecai grumbles, when he's finished, his stats read:

_Height: 5'7_

_Body Type: A few extra pounds_

_Looking For: Long term relationship_

_Hair Colour: Red_

_Eye Colour: Blue_

_Job: Florist._

"Perfect, my turn." Rigby says, quickly jumping up onto the computer chair, it only takes him about five minutes to make his profile.

_Helen/24/Woman_

_There's not much to say except my name is Helen and I'm looking to meet a nice guy._

"I'm so going to win." Mordecai snorts out.

"Whatever, after Benson reads my stats, he'll totally go for Helen." Rigby says.

Mordecai rolls his eyes before reading the stats Rigby put for "Helen."

_Height: 5'2_

_Body Type: Curvy_

_Looking For: Long term relationship/Friends_

_Hair Colour: Black_

_Eye Colour: Green_

_Job: Lawyer_

"Like you could convince Benson you're actually a lawyer." Mordecai snorts out.

"Stop talking!" Rigby yells.

"Whatever dude, let's just send our messages so I can get out of work for a week." Mordecai says, earning a glare from his friend. After they both hit send, Mordecai clears the browser history, being careful to cover up their tracks.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: roxyrox95, I would love to hear your ideas! I would PM you, but you reviewed my story from an anonymous source or something. Anyway, here's chapter three, enjoy.**

Benson arrives at his apartment and pulls out his tablet, he wants to check his messages in peace. He gasps with shock when he sees that he has three messages, he wasn't expecting any. He clicks on the first message, it's from a guy named Zaky89. He wonders why a guy is messaging him, his profile says he is seeking women, but he clicks on the message anyway.

_Zaky89: u r gay like a girl wuld rly go 4 sum1 like u._

Benson rolls his eyes and deletes the message, he is not even going to bother replying to a troll like that. He then clicks on the next message, this message is from a girl named PhillisT

_PhillisT: Hello Benson, I think it's amazing that you like cats, I have three myself, they are like my babies. Anyway, I just thought it'd be cool for one cat lover to chat to another cat lover._

_Sincerly, Phillis._

A huge smile spreads across Benson's face, and he clicks on Phillis's profile. He is a bit disappointed to see that she has no profile picture, but he doesn't pay any mind to it, just reading her profile makes his heart flutter, who cares what she looks like? He then goes back to his messages, and he sends her a reply.

_BossBenson: Hello Phillis, I love cats, I have two. I did have a dog too, but he ran away while under the watch of two of my irresponsible co-workers. I don't mean to complain in the first message, but those idiots can't do anything right. I look forward to talking more._

_Sincerly, Benson._

After he hits send, Benson clicks on the next message, this one is from a girl named _HotShotHelen._

_HotShotHelen: Hey sexy, sup? I'm just sittin in my jacuzzi, sippin on martinis. I'm waiting for the pool boy to finish cleaning the pool so I can take a swim. You should totally come over sometime. _

_From, Helen._

Benson strokes his chin while he thinks of what to say to Helen, she doesn't have the same interests as him, and she seems a little high matience, but if there's anything Benson has learned, it's to not judge on first impressions.

When he goes to Helen's profile, he notices that she doesn't have a profile picture either, but just like with Phillis, he doesn't mind much.

_BossBenson: Hello Helen, I would come over, but I would like to get to know you better first. _

_Sincerly, Benson._

Benson knows he should have written more, but he couldn't think of much else to say.

Meanwhile, back at the park house, Mordecai and Rigby are huddled around the computer, waiting to see if Benson replied.

"Dude dude, I wonder if I got any messages! Man oh man, this is going to be so great!" Rigby exclaims as he reaches to check his messages.

"Wait, if we both check our messages at the same time, Benson might suspect something is up." Mordecai says.

"Well, I'll check my messages now, and you can check yours in a couple of hours." Rigby says.

"Fine." Mordecai groans. When Rigby checks his messages, he is surprised to see he has thirty-seven new messages. He ignores thirty-six of them, and clicks on the one from Benson.

_BossBenson: Hello Helen, I would come over, but I would like to get to know you better first. _

_Sincerly, Benson._

"Haha, he's so not into you dude." Mordecai laughs.

"I don't even know why you invited him in the first place, if he had agreed, this would have ruined your whole cover." He adds.

"Not yet, but he will be. Besides, I knew he would say no, that's why I asked him, if he never talk about meeting, then they become suspicous." Rigby says as he types up another message to Benson.

Mordecai rolls his eyes, not even bothering to reply to his stubborn friend.

Back at his apartment, Benson is elated to see that he has a new message. Truth be told, he had been refreshing the page every five minutes. He is a bit disappointed to see that the message is from Helen and not Phillis.

_HotShotHelen: Oh, that's too bad, but I would also like to get to know you better as well. What are your hobbies?_

_Helen._

Benson smiles a bit, now this was a message he could actually reply to.

_BossBenson: Helen, my hobbies include drumming, hiking, and park managing, what about yours?_

A couple of minutes later, Benson smiles when he sees that he has a new message from Helen.

_HotShotHelen: My hobbies include kayaking, sunbathing, and debating about various topics._

_BossBenson: That sounds nice, what topics do you like to discuss?_

After twenty minutes, and refreshing the page a few hundred times, Benson sees that he still has no new messages from either Phillis or Helen. Sighing, he turns off his tablet and wonders if he will ever find Miss Right.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Holy crap, I'm surprised that so many people like this story 0_o. To be honest, I wasn't even going to write it in the first place, so I guess it's good I did haha.**

**roxyrox95, I apologise, but I don't quite understand what you mean exactly (I'm not that smart) haha.**

**Okay, well, here is chapter four. Sorry for not writing sooner, I am just tired of it.**

That evening when Benson logs onto the site, he is happy to see that he has a message from both Phillis and Helen, he is a bit disappointed that no other girls seem interested in him. He decides to click on Helen's message first since she was the last one to have a conversation with him.

_HotShotHelen: Oh you know, law and stuff. So, you're a drummer? What kind of music do you play?_

_BossBenson: Rock n Roll, I used to be in a band, now I just do it for fun. _

After hitting send, Benson clicks on Phillis's message.

_PhillisT: How do you feel about children?_

Phillis's question takes Benson aback slightly, he has no idea how he feels about children, he doesn't think that he will be able to keep up with a child because of his demanding job.

_BossBenson: I haven't really thought about it, I don't think I would have time to take care of a child right now._

Meanwhile, in the park house, Rigby and Mordecai are huddled over the computer, reading Benson's reply to "Phillis."

"Why'd you ask him about kids anyway?" Rigby asks.

"It seems like something Phillis would ask." Mordecai says with a shrug.

"I think it seems creepy." Rigby says with a shake of his head before he leaves the room to go make himself a sandwich.

Mordecai lets out a chuckle and turns back to the computer screen, he sees that he has a new message from Benson.

_BossBenson: I haven't really thought about it, I don't think I would have time to take care of a child right now._

_PhillisT: I know how you feel, I probably wouldn't be able to take care of a kid either, I have enough of a hard time taking care of my cats._

_BossBenson: I know what you mean, Milkbone's last vet bill was 500 dollars._

Mordecai stiffles a laugh at Benson's cat's name, but he supposed to name was no worse than Trash Boat.

_PhillisT: Oh, what did he have to go to the vet for?_

_BossBenson: To get kidney stones removed, he is all better now._

_PhillisT: Oh, that is good._

"Hey dude, are you almost done?" Mordecai hears Rigby say behind him.

"Yea dude, Benson was just telling me about his cat, his name is Milkbone." Mordecai replies with a laugh.

"You didn't know that? His other cat is named TunaBreath." Rigby says with a cackle.

"How do you know the names of Benson's cats?" Mordecai asks with a brow raised.

"I heard Muscle Man talking about it the other day, apparently his brother is dating Benson's sister." Rigby says with a shrug.

"Wow." Mordecai says before shaking his head, thinking about how strange of a couple they would be.

"I think we should raise the stakes on our bet." Rigby says, sitting down in the computer chair.

"What do you have in mind?" Mordecai asks.

"Whoever doesn't convince Benson to fall for them first, has to buy the other person's lunch for a week." Rigby says.

"It's a deal." Mordecai says before reaching over his friend to turn off the computer. As they're walking out, they don't see Pops standing there with a confused look on his face.


End file.
